So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
