Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
