Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize