I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
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