I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
