you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
