I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize