someone threw a dead crab at me
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
