I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
