once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
