Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
