Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
His nipple licking is glorious
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