no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
