we're blogging at a bar
She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
