If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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