One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
