I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Shame - the story of my life.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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