I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
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