Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
