I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
