Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
