Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize