Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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