My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Randomize
