hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
