The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize