never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
