i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
