Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
