Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
