fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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