If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
