I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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