Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I wish I only lived at night.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
