I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I think my moral compass just broke
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
