how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
