Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
