Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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