I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
i think my cat just said my name.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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