Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
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