It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
