You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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