so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize