i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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