Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
