so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
