why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
