went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
don't judge my taste in strippers
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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