did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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