Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Can you repeat that, but with context?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
