I CAN MOONWALK!
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
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