There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
