That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
