for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
