apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
