But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
