Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
So squirting runs in the family.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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