I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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