It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize