I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
