i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
how does that bad decision feel?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
