So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
