She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
