Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
