windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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